Pictures of the Nursery

Wow two post in two days!!! After the serious matter of yesterday's post I thought I would lighten the mood and show you pictures of Jaden's nursery! I love it! We are not completely done with it. We still have to put up the blinds which we bought this weekend. Curtains, pictures, and we need to buy a dresser for all the clothes that will not fit in the closet. Whoops! You probably cant tell in the pictures but on the bottom the purple is actually stripes. Same color just different finish. So what do you think?

Adoption is not our 2nd choice and Where has the excitement gone?

Ok, so I am not the kinda person that shares my feelings well to alot of people. There are a few people that I feel I can really express myself too and they know who they are and how thankful I am.
Lately I have been very feeling down about the adoption. We have both lost the excitement in the whole process. So I thought I would blog about it and see if that helps. Here goes.
Don't get me wrong we are still very excited about bringing Jaden home.We still know we are doing what is best for us. I just feel like the excitement is gone. I feel like people think that this is just something we have made up and it is never going to happen. In the beginning everyone we told was so happy, now it is not mentioned. Do people think we are crazy? We are not!
Sometimes I also don't think that people think when they say things to us, or they don't think we overhear somethings being said. Please understand that we are going through a very hard time even though we try not to show it to anyone. Know that we are happy for all our family and friends that have children or who are going to have children. But also understand that we are hurting for our baby that we do not have. The baby that we have no due date for. The baby that we were told we would wait only 6 months for and have now waited 28 months with no end in site. The baby that will never see her first nursery because we were transferred during this long wait. The baby that right now is being cared for by someone thousands of miles away who we do not know.The baby that we pray for every night and hope that someone feeds her and holds her and kisses her. The baby who will take her first breath, her first bottle and have her first smile without her forever family there. Understand that those are things we think about everyday. She is never away from our thoughts and prayers. We know that we are going through this for a reason and the reward will be great. But understand that we have our down moments and certain things can be said to us to make those moments worse.
Also understand that our daughter will be Chinese and that we are embracing her culture and her people. We do not want to hear negative comments regarding this. We do not want to hear negative comments regarding her birth mom because in our eyes she is giving us a great gift. One that we are sure she did not want to give but had no choice due to rules she must follow. We know that we will be thankful that she left her daughter somewhere were she would be found and not somewhere that she would die. We will never be able to tell her how thankful we are.
Also please know that some holidays will be hard for us. We are happy to spend time with family but remember that our family is not complete until she is home. It is hard to be happy when a part of you is missing.
Also know that this adoption is not our second choice. Do not feel sorry for us because we can not have biological children. To us a child is a child. Our blood may not flow through her veins but our love will flow through her heart. We did not go through years of infertility treatments only to then decide we would adopt. We did no treatments before our decision. And only tried it for one month well into the wait and then decided it was not for us. We don't have a need for a familiar face in our child. We just want the baby that God meant for us. We know that she is in China.I do worry that she will be treated differently by some people because she is adopted. If that happens we will do what is best for our family.
So please understand what is going on with us. Please think of our feelings before you say something. And please never say that you understand what we are going through unless you have gone through adoption or are going through it now.

Now I hope that I feel better after I have poured my heart out. I promise that my next post will not be so down!